When I think about being happy, I’m bored. When people talk about being happy it usually involves constant positivity. And being happy for people seems to be, well, staying happy. I don’t think I can function that way. I think if I was going to be content I would need to continue to suffer in some way. I can’t stand the thought of constantly being ‘happy’. It makes me sick. I don’t desire to be ‘happy’. For me to be happy, no. For me to be content with myself I have to have some form of turmoil for periods of time. I have to be ‘unhappy’ in some way to want to continue doing things. Without emotional turmoil or physical abuse in some way I really don’t think I can stand all of this monotony.
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incipientkiss posted this
